My old hurts visit nightly
now
shimmering in my wrist
dulling my shoulders
right hip aching
every so often
the back of my head
always
it seems
my jaw
Your future stepmother took a picture
of you that summer
darling tow headed child
grinning huge
Loving life
Already polyamorous
not knowing
any other way
to love
a lacy stalk of queen Anne’s lace
(the seeds of which herbalist witches know
keep pregnancy at bay)
Held aloft your radiant self
Now your sister
is the same age
When my life unraveled
Desire
Invisibility
No net
unpaid labors
gone unheeded
You wailing
as we passed you
back and forth
back and forth
back and forth
My old hurts
visit nightly now
reminding me
what it takes
to Wife
to mother
to stay
what it costs
to stay
Meanwhile my body
expands
with the tides
with the moons
with these babies
soft belly
silver streaked hair
and still no one objects
to these changes
but me
and other women
For this time and place
hates aging women
blames mother
fears crones
shames sluts
puts down hags
despises old ladies
While the popular magazines
push green shortbread witches fingers
with their almond slivered fingernails
"so cute! Your kids will love them!”
Federici reminds me
the U.S. would not be
without witch burnings
witch slaughter
witch murders
across Europe
in the 16th
and 17th centuries
Witch of course being herbalist
Witch of course being crone
Witch of course being midwife
Witch of course being doula
Witch of course being slut
Witch of course being keener
Witch of course being familiar
Which of course is women I love
Which of course is woman I am
Things are better
now, they tell me
I can type on this machine
conjure the tongue of my old ones
Zoom in,
be taught
to sing again
kindle an old fire
togaidh mis an tula
try to remember Mary’s words
this too a gift
beannachd leat
for this hard season
now upon me