Nurse like a Motherfucker*
Extended breastfeeding in a country that doesn't care, obstetric violence, everyone needs a good doula, fed is still best & it's all connected
I have now spent 5 and a half years feeding two different humans from milk my body makes.
June 15, 2023 my daughter turns two. She’s been breastfed since birth, and shows no signs of giving up her beloved "Mee mee.” My son turns 14 on July 15, 2023 and was breastfed until he was 3.5 years. Neither of my children have ever had any kind of formula. However, I didn’t have issues like pre-term birth, low supply, painful letdown, systemic racial bias, or any of the other myriad complications that can make breastfeeding challenging if not impossible. Neither of my babies ever had health complications. While my first year as a parent was shadowed by unchecked postpartum depression, anxiety and rage, breastfeeding was something I took pride in being able to do. There continues to be loads of shame, blame, and guilt placed on the shoulders of the women and birthers who are actually the ones feeding their babies. You’re damned if you do, you’re damned if you don’t.
While I had only minimal issues with my son, my nursing journey with my daughter was far different. Despite a cursory once over from the in hospital lactation consultant, once I got home, it was a different story. For weeks on end it hurt like hell every time I latched my baby, plus she was making this terrible clicking sound (breaking the seal of the latch) every time she nursed. My midwife was of little help since lactation isn’t most midwives’ specialty. It took 6- 10 different visits to various practitioners and 3-4 months before the issue resolved and we fell into a nursing groove. First I was misdiganosed by a lactation and nurse team, then again misdiagnosed by a pediatric doctor (they all claimed I had thrush- I didn’t) so then I took her to see an infant chiropractor and a cranio-sacral therapist- both of whom confirmed she had some jaw tension and shoulder tension from the birth transit. Until finally, a lactation consultant with 30 plus years who offers home visits diagnosed the problem. (New parents need more home visits)! She explained that due to the shape of my daughter’s mouth and higher shaped palate she wasn’t as able to latch quite as deeply as is ideal; however given my over supply, milk was gushing into her mouth, and thus she was back off the latch breaking the seal (hence the clicking noise), thus she was more on nipple, which is why it all hurt like hell, and why she was happy and growing like a spring weed. I also had her positioned too far abreast, when she needed to be craning her head back in order to latch more fully. It was such a relief to finally get some answers! I then confirmed with a pediatric dentist about her arch, and he confirmed that while it’s a little high and narrow, it’s not extreme and shouldn’t cause an issue, and then did a thorough assessment to confirm she had good tongue mobility, suck reflex, and no cheek or tongue ties of any sort. I’ve learned that I prefer nursing her on my left breast as my right nipple is much more sensitive, and it’s not that comfortable. I’ve endure countless sleep interruptions in which the only thing to soothe her, of which I am forever grateful for, is my breast. Having the ability to whip out my boob whenever need be to offer sustenance, immunological protection, countless antibodies, and sheer love and comfort, is hands down, one of the best parts of these early years.
I share all this because of that last piece- I repeat, due to my feeding issues, it took 3-4 months before we fell into a groove. How many mothers/birthers are already back at work? Figuring out pumping is not easy, and pumping simply cannot replicate the latch and draw of an infant. It’s no wonder that so many new moms give up on breastfeeding. And I don’t blame them. Recently, a postpartum client, who could never establish breastfeeding due to her baby being born prematurely, and little support to try, confided in me that she’d just gone to see a local lactation consultant, who put pressure on her to keep pumping until at least 6 months, despite the fact that she’s already been exclusively pumping for 5 months straight. My client said, "I just wish she’d said I could just be done with pumping and go ahead and switch to formula. But I guess yeh, I’m almost to 6 months.” My heart ached for my client; she’d already been through enough. "Look,” I said to her, "It’s your body. If you are feeling done honor that. If you decide to stop pumping tomorrow that’s ok. If you want to go for another week, that’s ok. You get to decide.” She sighed a sigh of relief. Every single family has a unique set of circumstances to go into their decision makings- why do we forget that so quickly? And for the most part those decisions need to be supported by everyone from lactation consultants to family members to policy makers.
Yet for those of us rare birds in the nursing toddler camp, representation is still sorely lacking. I rarely see writing that focuses on the complexities, labor and joys that go into extended breastfeeding that comes from any slant other than say, a white Christian homeschool perspective. While yes, breastfeeding rates are up, we still don’t have a culture where you can feel safe and free to just whip out your breast and nurse your baby ahem, toddler in public, and I would argue that there has not been one case of a mother or parent kicked off an airplane or harassed in public for feeding their baby with a bottle. Because the naked breast is still very much sexualized. And a naked breast in a toddler’s mouth, much less one who can ask for it loud and clearly,”MEE MEE!!” Oh hell no- this country still can’t stand that. When we don’t have enough people practicing and showcasing extended breastfeeding in our communities, how will this ever become a trend? While I agree "Fed is Best,” I do not think that people who bottle feed their babies past two years of age experience the same level of public scrutiny, stigma and harassment that extended breastfeeders go through. Throw in other systemic biases and imagine the outcry from the far right and internet trolls!
Other than one friend who is still nursing her soon to be 4 year old, another friend who is done nursing but nursed her son til 2.5 years, and stories of older moms in their 60s and 70s who’ve shared anecdotes regarding nursing up to as old as 7, most everyone I know has not nursed beyond 2 years. And let’s be clear here- most of my adult lived experience has been living in mostly all white communities, in democratic communities. Unsurprisingly, higher breastfeeding rates of all lengths of time are correlated with whiteness and wealth. Now, nursing until at least 2 years old is the new gold standard set by The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), as put forth in July 2022 in a policy updated that read in part:
Breastfeeding and human milk are the normative standards for infant feeding and nutrition. The short- and long-term medical and neurodevelopmental advantages of breastfeeding make breastfeeding, or the provision of human milk, a public health imperative. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends exclusive breastfeeding for approximately 6 months after birth. Furthermore, the AAP supports continued breastfeeding, along with appropriate complementary foods introduced at about 6 months, as long as mutually desired by mother and child for 2 years or beyond. These recommendations are consistent with those of the World Health Organization (WHO).
When the AAP released this updated policy, our country was in the midst of a nationwide formula shortage. We were in such bad shape that the White House took action. So when the AAP decided to share their updated policy, updated mind you for the first time in ten years, people were outraged. From Good Housekeeping to the team behind Fed is Best, there was a resounding voice that said, summer of 2022 (while clawing our way out of pandemic no less), was not the best time to give parents one more thing to stress over. Though of course the APP asserts it was not their intention with the timing to further stress parents out. Birthworkers, lactation consultants, perinatal experts, and moms and advocates of all kinds chimed in. Many were understandably outraged and pointed out the the hypocrisy and tone deafness of this policy updated in a country notoriously known for its abysmal care of new parents, moms in particular(and black mothers especially), and their offspring. If breastfeeding rates hinge on support like adequate and accessible healthcare, a return to support of undisturbed birth, addressing racial inequities, safe housing, food, paid time off, as well as universal income, then why are we so shocked that most people who breastfeed don’t make it to that golden two year mark? The clueless and uninformed of the masses who offered spinless knee jerk reactions to the formula shortage like "just breastfeed! It’s natural,” could then turn around and feel vindicated by the AAP guidelines. While others, and thankfully all the birth community I follow and interact with online pointed out time and time again how feeding your child is political, not everyone has the access or support they need to breastfeed, (not to mention physical barriers that make breastfeeding or chestfeeding impossible- things like breast reduction surgery to chest surgery). Underlying the bigoted right wing news outlets crying “Just breastfeed! It’s free!” was again a tiresome picture of the ideal "Mom”- white and blonde, goddess like but classically coiffed, slender, whose serene face while breastfeeding her toddler came from knowing a life where she’d never had money troubles, never would, and whose IG handle reads “Jesus Lover. He is King. Homeschooler. Wifey. Mother of 5.”
However, as a NY Times article on the AAP updated guidelines reminded readers, the policy update said virtually the same thing that the AAP has been saying for a while; the significant change being getting more pediatricians and care providers in sync to created a culture change where extended breastfeeding, up to year two and beyond is supported. The NY Times article goes on to point out:
The reality, however, is that a majority of American babies are not breastfed for as long as the A.A.P. recommends. Its new policy statement is in line with guidance from the World Health Organization, which has long endorsed breastfeeding up to a child’s second birthday or past it.
The most recent data available from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says 84 percent of babies start out being breastfed, but only 58 percent are breastfeeding at 6 months — and just 25 percent are breastfed exclusively. Thirty-five percent of babies are still breastfed at 1 year, and there are not reliable national estimates beyond that time frame.
As I’m now in my 41 and nursing a toddler, I feel an added stigma due to my age. There’s also the childhood memory of my Mother and her friends at our Episcopalian church, who all whisper gossiped about another young mother who brazenly nursed her three or four or maybe even five year old in the rocking chair in the nursery. What I don’t understand is that my Mother breastfed five of her six daughters, one who nursed well past she was three. Once, my mom’s friend (with help from my mom) took it upon herself to covertly nurse a baby who wasn’t theirs that they were watching for the day; the baby was unhappy, wouldn’t take its bottle. I remember coming inside from playing, a weird shame already instilled in me when I happened to glance this scene from the partially open bedroom door. The fact that they were bold enough to whip out a boob and breastfeed someone else’s baby shocked me, but also left a mark on me that said “Breast milk is gold,” and a message of shared Motherhood. While I’ve only nursed another friend’s baby once (which I think is a practice we ought to normalize, as imagine the diversity of microbes and antibodies your baby would get)! I do believe breast milk is a sacred tonic, and have pushed it on friends and family members when they’ve been under the weather. Recently my daughter had an eye infection, and my mom reminded me to squirt some breast milk in it. I did and the infection was gone by the next day.
So I want to know, besides, some of the systemic barriers I’ve pointed out, why aren’t more of us nursing our babies well into toddler hood? Is it, as I suspect just as much to do with our deeply rooted body shame, discomfort with intimacy, our obsession with breasts- milk laden especially. There also seems to be this unspoken consensus amongst people I’ve knows that breastmilk somehow loses all its benefits once that baby turns one. When nothing could be further that the truth! Is our fear and disgust with extended breastfeeding yet another relic of inherited trauma? I tend to think so…but also real fear of societal repercussions…
Remember this cover story from 2012 from TIME magazine about nursing toddlers? I was 30, and also nursing a 3 year old. Now, when I see this image of Jamie Lynne Grumet, 26 at the time, I think about how this image also plays into the tropes of conservative Motherhood, and stereotypical American white femininity - Jamie is white, slender, attractive, and a stay at home Mom (her image not so different than today’s Momfluencers of Instagram)- even as the image pushed the boundaries, simply because it’s rare to see a Mom nursing a small human in broad daylight. I had forgotten the article was a dig at attachment parenting, the fear underlying this cover that extended breastfeeding is indicative of a mother being “driven to an extreme,” at a time when attachment parenting (now commonplace), was just taking off. How quickly it seemed that TIME left out the horrific parenting tips and birth practices of yore- corporal punishment, feeding newborns on a tight schedule, letting them cry it out to sleep, not holding them too much lest you “coddle” them, and putting women under aka twilight sleep, to birth their babies. I am not sure that a decade of attachment parenting is enough to erase the generations of trauma at the hands of countless male obstetricians. Interesting too is the way this language of “driven to extreme” portrays the Mother as incapable to think of herself, as if her choices are not to be trusted, even as the image is posed to portray a “I don’t give a damn what you think,” here hand on her hip, strong gaze looking directly at the camera, all the while her white boy son in his camouflage shorts exhibit stereotypical masculinity. How dare she choose what’s best for her body and her family.
The cover story caused people to call Jamie a voyeur, to say that this image was sexualized, and she became the brunt of late night talk show hosts jokes, belying an immaturity that I feel like is distinctly American- that locker room snickering that thinly masks insecurity, ignorance, pain, and plain old meanness. This past February, TIME caught up with Jamie and revisited her take on the cover story as well as the backlash of the image (the clip of the ladies on The View cackling makes me irate). Jamie noted that since her cover, ten years ago, “attachment parenting has been a lot more normalized.” And her son is quoted, in part, as saying “It makes me feel happy that my mom helped people, like, nurse their children in public, so they didn’t feel awkward or nervous.”
Which leads me back to my question on why we don’t nurse past infancy? This fear of those of us who choose to nurse our babies into toddlerhood and beyond are often disparaged with remarks that run the line of coddling our babies, and beyond. It’s important to reckon with the fact that extended breastfeeding in a relatively rich country by comparison to a place like Pakistan, Senegal, where some research shows that extended breastfeeding (into the second and third year’s and beyond) can result in undernutrition and cause stunted growth. Though the general consensus from the WHO to UNICEF to AAP to the CDC all say the same thing- breastfeed your baby for as long as you can, at least up to two years.
I had seen this meme floating around social media on and off over the past year. I think if you are feeding a baby you ought to calculate your time spent doing so. Whether by breast or by formula, feeding babies is labor! And all parents should be compensated for it. While I started to type out the figures to try to put numbers to my 5.5 (and counting) years of breastfeeding, as soon as I saw all the numbers lined up I got overwhelmed and hit delete.
Feeding a baby is a lot of work point blank. And feeding one from. your own body is its own particular type of work that unless you’ve been there, it’s nearly impossible to describe to someone. The exhaustion the tedium the elation the comfort the joy the toddler gymnastics the necessary pliability the new found comfort and generally detached attitude one must necessarily adopt about ones breasts.
The awe in the discovery what your breasts are actually designed for.
How have I been able to breastfeed my children as long as I have?
I never doubted I would breastfeed. I am a hippie after all and since breast milk is natural, I was all about it. Plus, my older sister had breast fed all three of her kids, and as mentioned earlier, my mom nursed me and my sisters. So I just figured it I’d do it too. Not to mention, I read up on all the benefits- from lowering a mother’s risk of breast cancer, to decreasing incidences of SIDs and asthma in babies. Watch Katie Hinde’s TED talk What We Don’t Know about Mother’s Milk for more on amazingness of breast milk
I had two vaginal un-medicated births, fairly undisturbed births- both attended by licensed out of hospital midwives (one in my in laws home, and one a transfer to local hospital due to thick meconium when my waters broke).
I observed the golden hour - immediate skin to skin contact with newborn with no interruptions.
I rarely if ever use/d a breast bump. I never had a supply issue. I nursed on demand rather than a schedule.
I held and carried and slept or did some combo of co-sleeping with my babies. This allowed me to respond and learn their feeding cues quickly, so that it just became second nature. Babies are designed to sleep next to their mothers in order to wake periodically to keep themselves safe, and to nurse as needed.
I chose to stay home with both my babies for most of their first two years of life-supported by male partners who work outside the the home to pay bills.
I believe in the inherent worth and work of Motherhood. I was raised by a mostly stay a home Mother, so that imprinted on me. I feel even more strongly about this work as Mother (and do think we ought to be paid for it) since studying things like Silvia Federici’s writing on capitalism, and learning about the 1970s feminist movement, Wages for Housework. Care work of all kinds unrelated to feeding your baby, but also related to feeding babies is essential labor.
book Essential Labor is a terrific book driving home this point, and how the pandemic highlighted the crucial work of caregivers, racism, and how capitalism and all our lives as we know depends their low and unpaid wages.I am white, able bodied, and have generational privileges so I am able to navigate systems with relative ease. I have a Masters level of education, so feel confident and brave enough to advocate for myself, critique systems, and so to a great degree I operate under the assumption that my choices will be honored and I will be listened too.
I live in WA state. Both times I have given birth in birth friendly communities with midwives, freestanding birth centers, doulas, and the stories of home births by my friends.
I have excellent free health care. I am low income and so in WA state qualify for free Medicaid coverage. For my first birth with my midwife everything was paid for.
I had access to money and I had good choices. For my second birth- we had to switch care providers at the last minute, because we so wanted a home birth midwife, but our first one abandoned us, and then all the others were full. (Translation- there are multiple out of hospital midwives in the community I live in, and almost all of them take Medicaid insurance). Finally, we found one we loved, but she doesn’t take insurance. Her services though also included home visits and comprehensive postpartum care up to 6 or 8 weeks. Cost: $5,000. Since we did end up transferring to the local hospital and I have my WA State Apple Medicaid coverage our entire hospital stay was paid for. They even have pretty good meatloaf made from local beef! (who knew)??
I am a trained birth and postpartum doula, as well as WA State Perinatal Support volunteer. Which means I spend a lot of time talking too, listening too, and support new and postpartum parents, as well as continual reading and education on things things related to birthing, newborns, feeding, sleep, diapering, you name it, mental health, and just navigating parenthood.
When I had breastfeeding troubles like I did with my second child, I had insurance and money to cover lactation consultants and pediatric dentists and other out of pocket care providers to assess my daughter and get our breastfeeding journey on the right track
My decision to nurse my first child, was deeply informed and inspired by this one article in Mothering Magazine, which came out the summer my son was born in 2009. I haven’t stopped thinking about it sense. Breastfeeding in the Land of Genghis Kahn by Ruth Kamnitzer. Passages like these reaffirmed my dedication to breastfeeding my son as long as we both could.
In Mongolia, instead of relegating me to a "Mothers Only" section, breastfeeding in public brought me firmly to center stage. Their universal practice of breast feeding anywhere, anytime, and the close quarters in which most Mongolians live, mean that everyone is pretty familiar with the sight of a working boob. They were happy to see I was doing things their way (which was, of course, the right way).
When I breastfed in the park, grandmothers would regale me with tales of the dozen children they had fed. When I breastfed in the back of taxis, drivers would give me the thumbs-up in the rearview mirror and assure me that Calum would grow up to be a great wrestler. When I walked through the market cradling my feeding son in my arms, vendors would make a space for me at their stalls and tell him to drink up. Instead of looking away, people would lean right in and kiss Calum on the cheek. If he popped off in response to the attention and left my streaming breast completely exposed, not a beat was missed. No one stared, no one looked away - they just laughed and wiped the milk off their noses.
While re-reading this essay now for the first time in almost 14 years, I do have pause. This was a white Canadian author living and working in Mongolia. As with all types of “research” or observation of other cultures, it can be hard to decipher what is being seen through our own biases, and what is truly going on in a culture. I tried to find some more research on data and cultural practices for breastfeeding in Mongolia, but came up short. I found another short piece from another western academic who too asserts that Mongolia is a very breastfeeding friendly place. Aubrey Menard writes: “It is not unusual to see women breastfeeding on city benches, on public buses, or at department stores. In Mongolia, breast-feeding culture is much different from that of the United States—both in where it is done and who consumes the milk. Publicly feeding a child is both normal and celebrated: the capital city’s National Park features a statue of a woman breastfeeding twins, and its highest monument features a mosaic depiction of a mother feeding her child.”
The point being that I needed to read about a world where breastfeeding was celebrated, where strangers gave you a thumbs up any time you whipped your boob out to nurse your baby. To live in a world where my feeding my child does not force me to be relegated under nursing privacy tents, or jeopardize my chance of flying safely undisturbed across the country; side note, breastfeeding has always been my secret sauce to happy babies and toddlers on planes. This article gave me, as a first time Mom, a much needed confidence boost. While commenters on the NY Times article re. the AAP’s updated guidelines rallied back and forth - taking the AAP to task for further shaming formula feeding babies, or pointed out the all time consuming endeavor that feeding a newborn to 6 month old baby truly is, several others brought up good points that those who don’t nurse past one year of age are sometimes unaware of. Nursing a toddler is not as time consuming as infant. My 2 year old ate two bowls of oatmeal this morning topped with butter, cinnamon, milk, and blueberries, and then one scrambled egg. She loves food as much as she loves her "Mee- Mee.” I can often decline to nurse her at this age, while declining to nurse an infant is not possible. The dynamic between nursing my daughter who can now request a "cuddley cuddley” is a source of mostly joy and connection.
In researching more about breastfeeding, I came across a statistic that says "1 in 71 exclusively breastfed babies are rehospitalized for complications of insufficient colostrum intake” from the Fed is Best Foundation. And while I agree with the overall aims of their project, I can’t help but wonder about why are newborn babies are not getting enough colostrum? Thick, sticky yellow colostrum “gives your baby immunity to the germs that are in the surrounding environment. It is protective, coating the intestines to fence these germs out so they cannot be absorbed into your baby’s system. This barrier seals your baby’s insides, preparing your little one for a healthy life. Colostrum also kills harmful microorganisms and provides protection from inflammation. It is a laxative as well, and will help clear your baby’s system of the meconium (black stool) that has built up while baby was inside of you. Early clearing of meconium helps to reduce jaundice. In healthy full-term babies, colostrum helps to prevent low blood sugar. Colostrum is important for all babies, and it is particularly important to preterm, immature babies. Premature babies receiving their own mother’s colostrum have significantly better health outcomes.” -La Leche League
The thing is 90% percent of all women/birthers receive at least one kind of intervention. Interventions can get in the way of establishing breastfeeding, not to mention cause harm to the mother/birthing person’s experience of the birth, which then roll over into the postpartum phase, where the odds of developing a perinatal mood and anxiety disorder (PMAD) (the number on complication of birth and postpartum), are high. Our cesarean rate keeps going up and is currently at an alarming high of 32%, despite WHO’s recommendation of it being no more than 10-15%. In a country with no universal health care, declining life expectancy, a rising maternal mortality rate, and no guaranteed paid leave, how the hell can anyone breastfeed for very long at all? Paid leave is correlated with higher breastfeeding rates. How many mothers/birthers would actually choose to stay home if they knew they’d have the support to do so? The formula shortage was exacerbated by the fact that formula companies have a monopoly on the market, alongside supply chain issues due to lingering affects of the global pandemic. I was disgusted but not surprised to learn that, “Abbott is the main supplier of baby formula to low income women and children through state benefit programs such as the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children (WIC).” - Eloise Barry in TIME, 5.9.2022. There is always a profit motive in this country, and poor women of color continue to suffer the most.
If we are to talk about feeding babies, if we are to actually encourage a a world where extended breastfeeding is not only the norm, but celebrated and supported, we have to understand why breastfeeding simply isn’t feasible for so many mothers/birthers. We must take a long hard look at the intersections of the Medical Industrial Complex (MIC) and obstetric violence where doctors and nurses routinely take control and boss mothers and new parents around, which leads us to our rising maternal mortality rate, coupled with the continual shuttering of public hospitals for privately funded ones (guess which ones have lower rates of surgical births)? and the rise of the trillionaire class who pay less taxes than your average working class citizen, and the continual stripping of common spaces and public funded services. Whose lives do we actually care about it?
The thing is feeding our babies regardless of how you choose and are supported to be able to do so, costs you. It costs you in time, in money, in loneliness, in sanity, in your body, in your relationships, in your work and civic and creative lives outside the home and who you are a as a parent. Feeding our babies is going to continue to be hard when we live in a racist capitalist society run by fear mongering incompetent conservatives who continue to push us around with what and what we cannot do with our bodies. It seems this era we need more stories of how do we resist? How do we buck trends? How do collectively organize to support new families? How can we connect the dots between the systemic issues and our own lives?
I want all babies and their parents to have birth, postpartum and feeding support that is based on what evidence based research is starting to tell us, and what much of human history confirms is best for the mother/birther baby dyad. I want institutions and corporations that continue to prey on and fail women, birthers, babies, and families, to be held accountable. I want more pregnant people and their partners to stand up for themselves.
Today I talked to a young mother of color who is one week postpartum, struggling with anxiety and in a kind of shock with the new version of her life; her second child not only coming earlier than expected, but quickly as well. I remind her that she just birthed a human, which is a huge feat. I ask her about her web of support. When I ask how feeding is going she tells me nursing is going well. I look forward to getting to know her more so that I learn more about the cultural and personal systemic things that brought her to this point, wheres, despite what the data tells me, that this new mama so fresh postpartum from the intensity of birthing, of all the things weighing on her, breastfeeding her newborn is not one of them weighing her down.
“This call was really helpful! Thank you.” She says as we close. And I smile, knowing that in some small way, together, with families I work with, we’re breaking cycles and changing culture.
Additional Resources & Milk (hahah) for Thought
(in no particular order)
Fed is Best - "The Fed Is Best Foundation is a non-profit, volunteer organization of over 560 health professionals and innumerable parents. We study the scientific literature on infant feeding and draw from real-life experiences of parents who have had harrowing experiences feeding their infants—almost always due to insufficient and incorrect information about exclusive breastfeeding.”
Ten Steps to Successful Breastfeeding
Extended Breastfeeding story on NPR
Unpaid labor - https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/03/04/opinion/women-unpaid-labor.html
Bill the Patriarchy! Calculate how much your unpaid is worth. Hint- it’s worth a lot.
Breastfeeding Is a Dynamic Biological Process
Doula Shi Shi Rose has a new Ebook out called The Ultimate Birth and Postpartum Guidebook. Her posts on IG are one of the only things I miss from that space (of which I’m taking an extended break from except for a quick log on to promote writing here and there. I just lose too much of my life scrolling).
Another great read on the heart wrenching challenges of feeding a baby
The Milky Way documentary- a film all about human milk- well done, and so thought provoking! Edited and co-written by my friend Meredith Raithel Perry! The footage on the German hospital
First Do No Harm- on birth interventions
Our dismal fucking maternal mortality rates in numbers
*yes this is an obvious tribute to Cheryl Strayed as Dear Sugar, giving advice to “write like a motherfucker.” You can read that phrase in its original form in her advice letter from 2010 here at The Rumpus.