CW: sexually explicit content
Post Grief
You must find a way to submerge
your body in water
A shower simply won’t do
A deep soak in a tub with epsom salt plenty is good
Better yet a naked plunge
in your neighbor’s pond
A dip in the lake
if you dare
a swim off the point into the cold brine of the Salish Sea
Too you must keep hydrated
to replenish the tears you shed
Drink your herbs
You who know me
know I am partial,
my beloveds solid true steadfast
in their good taste and nourishment
Nettles
Milky Oats tops
petals of Rose
Lemonbalm
Raspberry Leaf
A bit of root to ground you
for the tears often leave your head pounding as it clears out and you awaken, slowly to notice, with joy, that your head has cleared, your jaw no longer tense, the ragged stuckness in your lungs loosed
You’re able to breather deeper
deeper
than you’ve ever breathed before
Marshmallow Root
if feeling dry
needing sweetness
Ginger root
to warm you
Dandelion root
to remind you bitterness makes life sweet,
and to support your bowels moving
Grief can be hard to digest
so keep pooping
Eat easy to digest food to aid this
Upon your arrival home you must be fed
by someone who is not you
someone else must feed you
do no cooking
for at least a day
if possible
some things to eat
Oatmeal with salted butter and the blueberries picked earlier this year defrosted into the cooking pot, beef stews of rough cut carrots parsnips and potatoes, dals of red lentils seasoned with curry eaten over curry and cardamom laced rice, chickpea and pumpkin soup with a crumble of chèvre atop, kale salads tossed with cranberries, toasted pecans and a good spicey olive oil, chicken noodle soup, bone broths with miso and shreds of seaweed, noodles with bacon, sauteed leeks, garlic and parmesan, roast chicken slathered in butter, rosemary, sage and thyme atop a bed of roast vegetables, you get the idea
but most importantly- eat foods that are home
to you
foods that make you feel loved
Move slowly
Walk feeling your body on this Earth
Walk and say HELLO! to Trees in your neighborhood
to Birds above to frost tipped bushes in the the morning
Dance
Stretch
by all means move
that glorious body you’ve been entrusted with
to care for
that can do such things as hold a young woman
while she wept and convulsed with rage and sorrow in your arms
pausing only to help brush her thick long hair from her face and then
wrap your arms about her just tad bit firmer - the pressure of another
so often the thing that lets us let go, sink deeper
make love
with somone you love
yourself
or better yet a lover
and i mean make love
do it slowly
slowly
slowly
Take your time
Savoring each touch each kiss the smells the textures
tongues darting here, lingering here, the hours bending
into each other, your body golden from toe to crown
and inside out
but perhaps there is still something still wild inside
grief residue roaming around that you cannot shake
then only your lover bending you over
taking you from behind
again and again and again
slamming their groin into yours
firm hands on your hips
fingers pressing hard
hungry, into your flesh
pulling you hard
as they thrust into you
deeper and deeper
splitting you open
and all you want is to be taken
to be split open
to be fucked until your insides rattle
and your chest is heaving
meanwhile
their fingers knotted in your hair close to your scalp
a crisp sharp tug keeping you in place
and you whimper
as a tasseled leather whip runs up and down your spine
gently at first
and then
crack crack crack
a solid sound
a solid thing coming down on your ass
your breath hitched in your throat
your body aflamed
yes this too is a way to celebrate
to move grief
to tame rage
to let go
to surrender
to another
to surrender
to yourself
Post Grief
You may feel confused
Where have I been? You wonder.
Where have you been? your people wonder.
Keep way from ones
who pry
or chatter too much
or have no space for you
you may now be fairly unrecognizable
to ones who love you
But not if they truly love
want you to be whole
these are your fellow grievers
even if someone of them don’t quite know it yet
thank them
all the while knowing
and there is grief in this knowing
that slowly
but surely
and unfortunately
you
return
to
business
as usual