Friday's Grief Song, 5.12.23
"And I end each day in a song"
Much like lovers and friends we spark with, songs are magic in that they have their own chemistry. With Time, Place, and Season factoring heavily into that kinetic power of when you first fall in love with a song. Sigh… I love love love that new relationship energy of when a song new to you sparks from root to crown and limb to limb.
This song found its way into my life around 2006 or 2007 and I just couldn’t get enough of it and I’ve never stopped loving it. In fact I sang this song regularly through WA state pandemic lock down, looking up the chords online so I could plunk along a little basic rhythm on my 100 year old upright piano. It became a personal grief song that I could belt out at any moment I was feeling sad, though I sing it quite differently than Will Oldham’s original version.
The first zine I made back in my early farming days in 2008 was called It’s a Farm Life, as an ode to this song; I promised readers a full subscription if they ever guessed the song reference… but alas… no one ever did.
I’ve often thought this song would be a perfect song to sing at a wedding. Weddings rarely weave in the grief inherent in the binding of two lives together, the old ball and chain that monogamous marriage is for a lot of people, the death of our single selves, the leaving of our families of origin for example. Modern day ceremonies only focusing on what is to be gained, rife with praise only, and rarely offering but a handful of grief soaked words, much less a quivering toast with wet eyes to all that is lost when you say those “til death do us us parts” and “I do, I do, I do.”
May you enjoy:
It’s a Hard Life by Bonnie ‘Prince Billy’
Listen here on YouTube.
Hard Life1
2003
Bonnie Prince Billy
(Will Oldham)
And it's a hard life
For a man with no wife
Baby, it's a hard life
God makes you live
But without it
Don't doubt it
You don't even have
Your tears to give
I wake up and I'm I'm fine
With my dreaming still on my mind
But it don't take long, you see
For the demons to come and visit me
And I've got my problems
Sometimes love don't solve them
And I end each day
In a song
And it's a hard life
For a man with no wife
Lord, it's a hard life
God makes you live
But without it
Baby don't doubt it
You don't even have
Your tears to give
I know I'm a hard man
To live with sometimes
Maybe it ain't in me
To make you a happy wife of mine
And maybe you'll kill me
Honey I don't blame you
If I was in your place
Maybe that's what i would do
But I ain't breathing, let me breathe
Let me go, let me leave
I don't know, but I might lose
I might bump my head
to blow a fuse
So let me go
Lay it down
On my own
Let me drown
Let me go
Go where you don't know
I pull all the lyrics right from the internet, and while many of the songs I’ve shared I feel certain about the lyrics because I can hear them and sing along to them, the lyrics online don’t match what I’m hearing. In the bridge section that begins with “But I ain’t breathing, let me breathe” several sites write it as “I might bum, might need to blow a fuse” but that’s not what I hear. I also don’t own this album so don’t know if there’s a lyric sheet inside. So listen and tell me what you think he’s singing!